Improvement.....

I think things may or may not be getting better. At least, I think he and I will be alright, friends or more - everything will likely be OK.

We had a meeting last night at the Fire Department. His truck was there when I got there, but I acted very nonchalant,like nothing was wrong. I went about my business, had conversations with friends and went in and sat down. When he came into the meeting room, he acted like nothing was wrong, tried to play hit me (his version of flirting I assume) and sat down at the table next to me and talked a little about his week before going to the back of the room and sitting with his dad. My SIL and I ended up on the other side of the room in the back with a friend of mine and her husband.

When the meeting was over, my friend had to participate in the board meeting, but she wanted to smoke first so we quickly exited the room so she would have a chance to smoke before they pulled her into another meeting. He came out shortly after us and was talking to another guy and his girlfriend. They were discussing motorcycles, and M (the guy I am referring to) mentioned that he got a new one not long ago. The guy he was talking to asked him when he got it, and even though I was in a completely different conversation, he looked to me for an answer. I kept my conversation going with the people I was talking to, even though I knew the other group was looking at me for an answer. He called my name, and asked the question again...."Hey, how long ago did I get my bike?" I answered and went right back to my conversation. It was award because I didn't think anyone in the Fire Department knew about our "situation" or whatever you call it, but nobody acted like it was out of the ordinary for him to be calling on me for answers, heck we barely conversed or acted like we knew each other for the last year and a half that I have been a member.

We always go to Mickey D's for an ice cream cone after our meetings and he knows that. He finished his conversation and went and got in his truck to leave, as he was leaving the parking lot, he stopped and called me over to his truck to ask me what I was doing later. Long story short, he ended up going with us, then coming back to my friend and her husbands house to watch a movie. He acted like nothing was wrong and didn't mention the "friend" I had that I am currently disliking.

The entire time we watched the movie he picked at me, tickling my feet (which are extremely ticklish), clipping his cell phone holster on my t-shirt, leaning on me and resting his arm on my leg, and stealing my cell phone every time it rang or he got bored with the movie. At least, this is all my idea of flirting. I've hung out with lots of other guy friends and they don't get anywhere near me on the couch, let alone leaning all over me and holding me down to tickle my feet or play fight.

My friend that is married seems to be a good resource for me. She knows how I feel about the situation, being that he just got out of a pretty serious relationship. She says if he doesn't like me, than it's the strangest thing she's ever seen. Ha ha. She cracks me up.

I feel a wee bit guilty because I had plans with another guy friend last night (well call him L). But, when I found out M was going to hang out and watch the movie with us I had to call L and give him a good excuse to not make him suspicious. L is such a sweet, amazing guy - but.....he's 3 years younger than me, a good friends brother and very very flirtatious. He is all the time hugging me, putting his hand on my leg, making comments about M and calling me to do things. I know that L is the ideal guy, but he's just not my ideal guy. I do not like to date guys that are younger than me (M is only 10 months younger than me), not to mention that I do not want to risk a great friendship and all the good time we have just being friends. I hung out with L most of the day last Saturday, then he called me on Sunday, but I was busy, then again on Monday, but it was late and I already had plans. On Tuesday night I had class and he knew it. On Wednesday I had plans with L, but I was mad at M and I didn't feel like being around another guy that could potentially break my heart so I called L and canceled, telling him the truth - that I just needed time to myself and I wasn't in the best of moods. I promised him we would do something Thursday night after my meeting, than I called and canceled again....I feel bad.

Anyway - that's my update. I don't know where this is going with M, or if it will even turn into anything. I'm not hoping for or expecting anything, I'm just going to see what happens.

-A