Update

Alright, so I went to Pennsylvania this weekend. Sean says I could quite possibly be the queen of the 'He-man Women Haters Club' (you know, from the movie Little Rascals).

Here is how it happened....

I call Josh on Wednesday night to confirm that I will in fact be coming on Friday. He says he's got a lot going on and he isn't sure I should come. I immediately think his surgery must be scheduled for this weekend and he is chickening out because like he said before, this is all very scary. Being the nice person that I am, I didn't push it I just told him to give me a call sometime on Thursday and let me know for sure. I never heard from him on Thursday, so late Thursday night I call him and he tells me he's on the other line with his brother, if I hold a minute he will be right back. Then he hangs the phone up. I was mad. I'm not stupid, it was obvious to me that something was going on. About 10 minutes later he sends me a text message and tells me to stay home. I text messaged him back the following:

I don't fu**ing get you. Don't talk to me until your ready to be a man.

Then I thought about it some more.....

You better fu**king hope I don't run into anyone we both know this weekend. I'm tired of sugarcoating this friendship. I don't deserve to be treated like shit.

I called my brother for some advice and he told me to go anyway. If it was the surgery, I shouldn't let his being scared get in the way of my being there for him, and my grandpa already knew I was coming and was looking forward to seeing me.

So, at 3:30 on Friday morning Sean and I started our ride to Pennsylvania. I was sound asleep, riding comfortably in the passenger seat at 10 till 8 in the morning when my cell phone rang, it was my Josh specific ring tone (Crazy Bitch by Buckcherry).

I said "Hello." I didn't want to sound excited at all. The conversation went sorta like this:

Him: Hey. Where are you at?

Me: Riding down the road.

Him: Yeah, where.

Me: Somewhere in Virginia

Him: Oh, I thought you were here. I wanted to take you to breakfast.

Me: No. I thought you didn't want to see me.

Him: Yeah, I'm calling to apologize. I shouldn't have acted like an ass last night. You just caught me at a bad time.

Me: Oh, well apology accepted. But you know you're supposed to love me no matter what and not treat me like that.

Him: Yes. I do. I know. I want to see you this weekend. You think you could come see me at the farm today?

Me: Yeah. But I'm going to go visit my Grandpa first. I'll call you when I get there around 2 or 2:30.

Him: Ok. You going to stay with me?

Me: Yes. If you want me to.

Him: I do. Alright babe, I'll talk to you later today. Alright?

Me: Alright. Bye.

Sean was just sitting in the passenger seat grinning. I had the phone on speakerphone the whole time and he was impressed. You see, the thing about Josh is....he does care. We've been through it all together and nothing is going to tear us apart.

We had a great weekend. I had a hard time touching base with him on Friday because the cell phone reception in the mountains sucks. However, he finally got a hold of me and it turns out he wanted me to come to where he was but I could never understand what he was saying when he called. Finally, when he got a hold of me he was headed home to go to bed. I was at a party, but I decided to be an adult and go spend time with him. It was worth it. We laid in bed, watched movies and laughed for hours. I haven't had that much fun just sitting at home in a long time.

On Saturday he had to cut and bail hay all day. I'm not a girly girl so that was right up my alley. We went our separate ways about 9 am and he called at 10 and asked me to meet him for a bite to eat. Then, we went our separate ways again and I spent the whole day with my future sister in laws little sister, Kim. (Yes, she is Josh's ex, but they actually are cordial to one another- its amazing). Her boyfriend was out bailing hay to so went to a flea market- which I haven't been to in years, here in the south they're just not the same. We grocery shopped, and visited some family I haven't seen in a long time. Then we took some food to a friend of my dads that having a hard time with his life right now. It made me feel good about myself to do something for someone who is truly in need. After that we rode to a party that a friend of Kim's was having, and it was already 7 pm. I decided I better make my way to the farm where Josh was, but since I didn't know all the people that were with him, I would take Kim with me.

On the way to the farm, we passed him on the road. He stopped and we followed him back. I ended up sending Kim back to her house in my car and spending the better part of the next 2 hours riding tractor and playing in the field. It was really a lot more fun then it sounds. It was cool to just spend time with him like that. That evening we went to Kim's house and cooked dinner (her bf, Josh, me, their roommate and his girlfriend.) It was a lot of fun. We headed back to his house around midnight and slept in on Sunday before heading home.

We didn't really talk about his medical problems a lot. I think it helps that when I'm there he doesn't really think about them too much. On Sunday before I went home we went to breakfast and picked Sean up on the way (Sean dates a girl that lives up there, I dropped him off on Friday and picked him up on Sunday). I'm glad Sean finally got a chance to meet him and he really liked him.

Anyway- Sean says that Josh is quite a guys guy and he was impressed with the way he treated me and how he apologized. It made me feel good to see someone else understand how much I appreciate my friendship with Josh. Kim even said she was impressed that he took things I said to heart and seemed to follow through with advice that I gave him. She was extremely impressed that when we passed him on the road, he pulled over and waited for me. According to her, that's not something he normally does. (Their relationship was pure hell the entire time, all they did was fight. She's a bit needy and it didn't last very long. They are much better friends.)

All this is kinda hard to explain. If you've read any of my previous posts about Josh- you know I'm fond of him. We've been friends for 12+ years and we have the same goals and aspirations for our lives. Sometimes I can't help but wonder what would have happened if I would have never moved south....

I miss him already.

Hope everyone had a great weekend!
~Ash