This is rough....

My best friend has lung cancer. It scares me....I'm scared for him.

Josh is someone who has been in my life forever. He's that guy that says 'If your 30 and not married, we're getting married.' He's my confident, my first love and my only true friend.

I'm heartbroken, scared, worried and 1,000,000 other emotions. I know that he is going through much of the same emotion, and I wish I could be by his side during this process.

His surgery won't likely be until August due to insurance problems. All the unknown is so scary. I couldn't imagine the thought that go through his head on a daily basis.

Right now I'm trying to be supportive and keep everything at arms length. If I get annoying and start asking a lot of questions, he is going to get aggravated. His dad and I are the only 2 people he has told and plans on telling. I'm sure people will find out in time, cancer is not something you can hide.

Right now I feel like I'm living a horrible dream and I'm going to wake up and it's all going to be over, except it is all true.

I'm going up June 8-10th to see him.

In the meantime, I'm going to pray.
~Ash