We've officially decided to call it quits. I'm alright with that. I can't say I'm happy about it, but I think its for the best right now. I have a lot going on in my life with school and work and he the same. We get along great as friends and it certainly doesn't seem smart to jeopardize our friendship more then we already have.
I'm not sure how this will work, I know I definitely need time and space now. He still wants to hang out with me on Saturday night and again on Monday, but I'm not sure I want to keep those plans. I think I need a couple weeks to move on, get over my feelings and let this all absorb.
Of course, my heart is broken. I'm female. I did a dumb thing, I trusted him with my heart and he broke it. Don't get me wrong, I don't think he had any intentions of breaking my heart. I think he's confused and scared, and who knows- he may tell me in 2 weeks that he's made a mistake and wants to be in a relationship again. I'm not sure I will be able to do it again- but I have a feeling something like that will happen. He was to vague about why he wanted to break up, stating that he liked it better when we were friends. Then, he told me to consider my promise ring a 'friendship ring' and wear it on my right finger. I told him I would, but I don't think I can do that either. It makes me think of him too much, and how do you explain to people that your best friend is a guy who bought you a diamond ring with hearts on it? That doesn't make a whole lot of sense.
I believe I'm going to step back, take some 'Ashley' time and absorb all this. I certainly don't want to loose our friendship, but its definitely never going to be the same since we've crossed the line and had sex.
Usually, when we drink at my house on Saturday nights he stays because obviously drinking and driving is illegal. He's planning on drinking with us Saturday night like we had originally planned earlier this week, and he said that staying with me won't be weird. I beg to differ.....
I'm going to try this, but he better not get mad at me if I disappear for a couple weeks. I can't jump from one 'relationship' to another...I've got to have time to think and heal.
Friday, January 12, 2007
Giving Up
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2 comments:
I think it'll be best for both of you if you just step back from the situation and give each other some time apart, as friends and everything else. Because honestly, like you said, you've already crossed the "sex" line, and he's already talking about staying over again... not trying to make him sound like a bad guy, but he might have "plans" in mind for that night.
The line has been crossed, and the relationship didn't work, and that's ok, but don't let "habits" take over and cloud your judgement. You'll be fine on your own.
Oh lady, I'm so sorry. This must be a really hard time for you... I'm so impressed that you're being calm and rational about it, choosing to take Ashley Time and a step back from everything. I wish I had that kind of self-assuredness.
(By the way, I'm one of your blurkers - I really enjoy reading your blog!)
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