Where is my motivation?

I have absolutely zero motivation today. I have no idea why, I just cannot seem to get my butt in gear and get things done. I would much rather curl up on the floor of my office and take a nice long nap.

On the way to work this morning, I slept in the passengers seat. I never do that, I have a huge fear of messing up my hair - which takes me a whole 20 minutes to do every morning. Then, I was sitting in class at 9:30 and I started nodding off. It was so embarrassing. I managed to stay awake, but it sure was hard. Now, I'm back at my desk and I've done nothing but read blogs, balance my checking account, and search for things online. I am just not myself today and I can't figure out what's wrong with me. I have absolutely no motivation.

I have a lot to do this week. Yesterday I worked my normal 8-5 with a class at lunch time, then went to a training class for the Fire Department (in the future referred to as FD), I got home around 10 and was asleep by 11:30. Today I am doing the same thing as yesterday, except I have a meeting at the FD tonight, not a class - so I should be home earlier. Wednesday night won't be busy, except I will need to use my free time to work on some homework. Thursday is packed full. I work (as per usual), class on my lunch break, haircut immediately after work, class at FD at 7. Then, I'm free all weekend.

I had some time to do some thinking this past weekend and I decided that I can't control what my Dad does, but I can control how it effects me, and reflects on me as a person. I am done making excuses for his behavior, and shying away from arguments. I am going to work on my relationship with God, and be mindful when reacting to a situation that involves my Dad. Mom, SIL, a friend, and I went to church on Saturday. It was nice to relax, listen to a message and take it all in. It was very important to my Mom, as she and I both believe that your faith in God will carry you though the hard stuff you encounter in life. We're going to start going regularly, I'm not going to go overboard and say we are going to go every Saturday, but we're going to attempt to go as much as possible.

I'm also going to make a valid effort to go do more fun stuff, that is a little out of the "norm" for me. We will see how that goes. Going out last Friday to a W*ii party was out on a limb for me, I almost always take someone with me when I go somewhere, but I drove there all by myself and I had a great time. I just hate doing things by myself all the time, but I guess such is the life of a single person.

Well, I'm going to work on that motivation I'm lacking and try to get something done before 5.

-A