I hate this. I feel like I'm in a rut, and I can't get out. I go from happy to sad in less than a minute, and I'm constantly on the verge of crying. I'm sure it's my nerves, coupled with the simple fact that I am a woman.
The while Josh thing is still boggling my mind, but I'm not thinking too deep into it. He sent me a text message on my way home last night. I wrote back the usual, nothing and left it at that. I got a text a 9 (I was asleep) saying he was going to call later, and at 10 he called. I remember answering the phone and him saying he would let me go because I was sleeping.
I went straight home after work last night, threw a load of wash in the washer and was in bed by 7:30. I remember talking to Josh for a brief moment, but I wasn't awake long and the next time I woke up it was because the alarm was going off.
Another thing boggling my mind....Duncan's mom. She acts like she is mad at me. She has MySpace so I sent her a message yesterday, just a simple "Hey! I missed you guys this weekend!" and she wouldn't approve it to be posted on her page. What is her deal? I really want to write her a message and ask her, but I think I'd rather ignore the whole situation.
I talked to Duncan yesterday. He said he wanted to see me, but he had to work late. Funny thing is, at 6 when we came past his work....he wasn't working. Why lie? It just makes everything worse.
Anyway, I'm fine with being Ashley. I haven't done anything wrong and they can all kiss my butt. :)
I don't have big plans for this evening. Hopefully I'll be in bed by 8 again!
Hope you're all having a fabulous week!
Ash
Tuesday, February 13, 2007
I'm in a Rut....
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2 comments:
Ok, this is probably going to come off as harsh, but that's really not how I mean it to be. I'm just trying to be an unbiased and honest friend here.
Don't sweat the Josh thing at all. You said yourself that you seem to recycle boyfriends and you don't like that pattern - so why set yourself up to repeat that pattern again? If something didn't work out right with someone the first time, it's highly unlikely it'll work on a 2nd, 3rd or 4th try. Unless BOTH people realize EXACTLY what went wrong with the relationship the 1st time, and BOTH people want to work on it to make things better, it'll never work. Don't set yourself up to get hurt again.
As for Duncan... lose him. He's not very good friend material for you right now, and even less good boyfriend material. You guys tried moving past the friend thing, it didn't work out, and now he's not even being a good friend - sending you mixed signals and telling lies about why he can't hang out with you. And, I never knew that he and Michael were friends prior to you - so that could add up to trouble for you. Plus, they are guys, and guys will always choose another guy over a girl in the long run - see: the tattoo incident, and Duncan's current "standoffish" behavior with you.
As for Duncan's mom... do you really want someone in your life who, as an adult, is so petty that she (a) has a MySpace and (b) doesn't approve comments from her son's "friend". Let it be, don't sink to her level.
Ok, sorry for all that ranting, haha. I just think you need to see the bigger picture. Here's to you and your happiness!!!
Read So gone over you again...
She has some very good advice.
Sending you a big hug, because that's about all I can do...hang in there - you are sooo worth someone who will treat you like a queen, you don't need to be friends with Duncan's mom - she sounds immature - you need to find yourself, and find what makes you happy... Figure that out- and the rest falls into place...
You do not need a man to justify your existence....
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